I moved as far away from Kunle as I could manage.
If all she saw was the slap then that can be explained, but she was here before that…
When your friend catches you kissing her fiancé, there really are no explanations. At least any that make sense.
So how do you explain in that moment?
I can tell you from experience, all I felt was shame and self-disgust, and my mind kept whirling and trying to figure out how to fix this.
I really wanted the ground to open and swallow me or for me to faint and escape this moment
Mofe’s voice woke me from my reverie
“What is going on here?”
I rush to her.
I don’t know why.
What can I say? How do I explain this?
I try to hold her hand, but she snatches it back forcefully.
She looks so betrayed, and tears pool up in her eyes threatening to fall
“How could you guys hahaha. Sorry I can’t do this anymore I really can’t”
She boffed (by the way that means to laugh obscenely and unrestrained).
I was not expecting that. I was convinced she was mad with grief until she stopped and started again. It was like this was good comedy.
“ I guess that’s how the two of you always make up.”
What!!!, how does she know about that. Does that mean she knows about us?
“You stupid, stupid people, you bunch of no-good back-stabbing schmucks.”
I deserve that!. She knows, she knew, how long has she known?
“I had to teach the two of you a lesson, really wanted to see how you guys were gonna be together when you hear that he likes to hit women, I really just wanted to mess with you guys and have fun.”
She played me, she played me well
“Mofe? How could you, I told you about what happened to my mom, and you use it against me?”
“Why not, you really are the worst kind of human being, pretending to be a good friend yet sleeping with your friend’s fiancé.” she continued
“It really wasn’t like that, we just fell in love” I try to defend us
“I’m sorry Mofe,” Kunle said
“You know, when I found out, I was in so much pain. I know Kunle and I have an arranged relationship, but I thought we at least respected each other. I was so disappointed. I felt so stupid to not have seen the two of you for the scum that you are. And I wanted you to hurt like I have”
I wanted nothing more than to hide my face. I’m so ashamed. How did I let things get this far
“So, all those bruises were self-inflicted?” I was oddly curious about that
“Well, most of it was make-up, but some of it was real. Why do you care?” Mofe barked at me
“Irrespective of what you think, Mofe, I really care about you. Why would you hurt yourself because of us?” I try to understand
“You care about me ?!!, you are so shameless. After all you have done? You know I would rather not have friends than have one like you. These bruises will fade, but what you did to me is unforgivable. You don’t know how much satisfaction it gave me to watch you in so much pain”
I flinched, I felt like a knife had run through me and I deserve it.
All I hear after that is that she’s going abroad for a Master’s program (more like to get away from us), and she walks away.
Kunle and I looked at each other.
This should be our moment, seeing as Mofe knows, and she is no longer in the way. But we walk away from each other. I guess I’m too tired and raw.
I guess I’m ashamed.
Ashamed of the person I let myself become.
Something I would never have imagined myself as. Something that was against my principles.
I’m ashamed that I couldn’t even trust him enough to believe in his character, that I let my past cloud my judgment.
It is time for a self-reflection.
Kunle and I didn’t speak again. We never called or sent messages to each other. I guess we both just wanted to move on. And whatever we had, whether it was love or something similar, was left to fritter away with all its memories.
We occasionally had awkward coincidental run-ins (come on, Lagos is not that big). But that was it.
Time has done a number on me, I learned to forgive myself.
Whenever I think back to that moment before we walked away from each other. I want to say
I hear love transcends it all
They say love will heal my ache
So I place my hopes and pain
I place my strength and weakness
Hoping to only have to lean on it
But I don’t think ours is strong enough
I don’t think it will weather storms
Built on a foundation of deception
Ah, the frailty of it all
let me know if you like my story