You know how everyone exaggerates when then say the world came crashing. Right now I’m not sure how much of an exaggeration it is. I feel like everything is falling apart and I can’t even reach out to catch any of the pieces.
What is going on here???
“Don’t jump to conclusion Uju, slow down and take a breath” I try to assure myself over and over before I actually have a panic attack, but nothing works.
I had to have been sitting down for over three hours by the time Kefe came into the house.
Who is this man??
When I see his face, rage burned through me, but I try to act natural, to be calm
That ended right after he spoke to me and smiled at me with those eyes I thought were honest.
“Baby why are you sitting here by yourself” I just couldn’t take it anymore
“Irikefe Steven Egware, why are you paying Andrew hush money”
“What hush money, are you spying on me Uju ??”
“Yes, me spying on you is the bone of contention here” I spat angrily, is this dude serious, is he trying to deflect right now
“What is the big deal about giving Andrew some money, he needed help settling some of his bills, and I helped him out. Can we continue this tomorrow, I’m exhausted”
“ Really, you helped him out with one hundred and fifty thousand every month. Do I look stupid to you?”
“Please babe let’s talk about this tomorrow okay?”
“I might not be here by then” my voice breaks because I can’t believe what I’m going to ask next
“Irikefe why are you collecting money from a man who is kidnapping a young girl, someone I sent to you for counseling last month”
“Baby let me explain” he answers, and I suddenly feel my reasoning snap. I wanted so badly for there to be a logical reason.
Even if I knew there couldn’t be, hearing him say that shattered my already broken heart.
I was worn out. I don’t think it matters why.
Now I understand those pictures. Now saving it as insurance made sense.
“Uju, why do you even care about those girls, they are already tainted, I’m just helping them make some money”
“Through me ??, you take vulnerable girls I send to you for clarity and counseling and turn them into prostitutes, How could you??? You bastard”
I feel so sick to my stomach, I can’t be here. I just want to be away from here, but I never expected Kefe to stop me. The last time I saw him like this was when he stopped seeing his doctor just after we got married. He grabbed my wrist so hard I thought it would snap
“Uju, there is no way I letting you leave me, this marriage is for better or for worse”
He’s getting agitated, and I know I have to calm him down before he gets worse
“Okay Kefe, please calm down, you are scaring me. I think we need to go and see Dr. Jegede right now”
“Why would we do that, I’m fine I just don’t want you to leave me. I’m a doctor too Uju”
“Kefe, you are not fine, you are hurting me and acting crazy, I just don’t understand why you would do this. Is it because of money??”
He let go off me after he locked the door and tossed the key in his pocket. I think I should be afraid right now. I don’t like the crazy look in his eyes.
“You know, Uju this is all your fault. I did this so we can be happy”
Is he crazy??
“What do you mean this is my fault, why can’t you even take responsibilities for your own actions”
“ You won’t let me touch you like I want, I had to let it out”
“By touch me the way you want, you mean whip me silly with a belt. So you have been sleeping, more like raping those girls”
“Never, they want me, and unlike you, they understand the pleasures of pain”
I slapped him more than once. I don’t remember how many times but my palms are hurting now but not as much as my heart. I feel like I’m in a nightmare I can’t wake up from and nothing about us is real. I laugh because this is too bizarre to be real.
“I will not let you get away with this Kefe”
I want to leave so badly, but Kefe is with the key, so I run for the back door, but he grabs me. I feel his hands on my neck choking me, and I so desperately want to live, but I feel myself lose control of my body and my vision darkens…
When I woke up, I found myself on my bed tucked in and everything that happened flash through my memories.
Fear and anger wash through me just before I noticed Irikefe and a doctor whispering by the door, and despite my cry for help, the doctor practically ran from the house.
“Irikefe what do you plan to do with me?”
“Baby, don’t talk like that, you will hurt yourself and our little one in there”
Little one, what does that even… Oh My God
“Am I pregnant ?”
“Yes baby we are pregnant, so in the spirit of honesty, I want to confess that I killed Andrew”
Like the shock I already received today is not enough. I’m still trying to understand it, and now I learn that my husband is also a murderer.
He looks so indifferent telling me about it like he is discussing the weather
“Please Kefe don’t torture me anymore” I’m really tired
“Babe, I’m just warning you in case you get any funny ideas when your friends come over. I will kill them”
As he walked out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts, I couldn’t help acknowledging that I was successfully terrified by him.
There could not possibly be a name for how I feel right now. It’s a mixture of convoluted emotions.
I don’t even know how to be happy about this child. This child that might be my only shot at motherhood. My baby
I have to get out of here, I can’t possibly raise a child with this maniac. I stop panicking. I have to think through this logically. First I must remain submissive, that’s the only way to survive right now.
Submissive!!! that is how I remain even after Jibade and Boma visit. They keep asking if I’m okay and Kefe tells them it’s the pregnancy.
He said the doctor said it’s a risky one. That I can’t go to work until I’m due. That we would have to travel for a few months, so I don’t have to think about work.
Should I be impressed or even more terrified, He’s very thorough, and I can’t put in a word. I feel unusually tired. Did this psychopath drug me?
He did, he really drugged me. I should never have believed that they were antenatal pills.
I pretend I didn’t know. The next day I’m ready for him. I pretend to take the drugs he gives me, and when my assistant Christy came, I slip a note into her bra.
I’m very desperate. I made sure I was as discrete as possible. Waited for Irikefe to pretend to be the loving husband and pass me a glass of water and then I did it.
Now all I have to do is wait for Jibade to come.
For the first time since this nightmare started, I sleep without dreams.